Have you seen the new movie “Constipation”? It hasn’t come out yet.
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten people die.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Son: Dad, how does it feel to have such an amazing kid? Dad:i dont know son, ask your grand parents.
My wallet is like an onion . When I open it I cry.